Blair Shares

Walking A Mile In My Shoes

Walk A Mile In My Shoes

I saw a meme recently that said “ Never mind ‘walkin a mile in my shoes’…Try spending a day in my head.”. It made me think how would I describe what it’s like in mine with a traumatic brain injury.

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Let’s see, you would wake up early around 5:30 to 6:00 AM every day.
You don’t connect with time like you used to, so your first thoughts are to try to figure out if today is a work day or a stay at home day.
Shortly you become aware of the ringing in your ears, one of the new symptoms you are still trying to get used to.
Your brain injury brings new symptoms as time goes by and nerves fail and deteriorate.
The pain in your hands and feet is a throbbing tingling sensation this morning , another new symptom that is annoying right now, which is better then the pain from last night.
When you get out of bed to start your day you find your balance is a little unstable, easily corrected with the support of the bed and the wall.
You brush your teeth with the lights out because it’s easier on your light sensitive eyes.
Brushing your teeth can be a challenge, sometimes you have trouble figuring out what items you need to accomplish this simple task.
Often you have trouble with your balance in the shower. Getting rescued from the shower because you fall is probably not on your bucket list.
Putting on your deodorant can be a challenge too, you may find yourself standing at the bathroom counter knowing there is something you should be doing next, but you can not find the memory anywhere.
Memory loss is a symptom you will have to deal with daily. Short term loss is the worst, most every thing from the last three years is gone. Anything you experienced recently won’t stay unless you find a way to repeat it some how. Anything you do retain, will feel like a distant disconnected memory.  Eating is like a new experience every time, because you don’t remember want anything tastes like.  When you try to recall memories from the distant past, it brings on headaches.  Several times today you will be asked “Do you miss?”, it is hard to connect to something that you don’t have memories of.
There is a tingling sensation inside your head, it’s almost like you can feel every connection in your brain activating.
You’ll try to avoid bright light and loud noises because they both make you uncomfortable.
Your vision is one of your oldest symptoms. You’ve lost some of your right peripheral vision and everything is generally blurred. As the day progresses, a tension headache will start from your temples, then across your eye brows and forehead.
Fatigue will start to hit by 10:30-11:00 AM. You’ll need a nap by early evening or maybe some time in a low light room to rest your eyes and head.
Your migraines are finally under control, now that you are on the right medication, as long as you remember to take it.
You’re going to experience a disconnection from your surroundings. It’s a feeling like you are watching what is going on around you but you are not really taking part in it.
Confusion and distraction come over you, you can’t understand why simple tasks are so challenging.
Repetitive tasks set well and allow you to be productive.
New tasks challenge you, strain your thought processes and generate headaches.
You spend a lot of time in your own head but find that you don’t really spend much time thinking about anything.
You’re ready for bed by 10:00 PM but you know you won’t sleep more then five hours so you have to stay up till midnight or 1:00 AM.
You realize you’ve made it to the end of another day.

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51 comments

  1. excellent description of where I was at 5 years into my reawakening after TBI w/SIS I am now 8 1/2 post and still many of these symptoms apply! when I am tired or stressed I can still hear my brain vibrate 💚

  2. This is such a powerful post. Thank you so much for sharing! I have been curious what it must be like after a TBI. I struggle with muscles that don’t want to work, and they don’t know why. It’s hard facing a struggle every day, but we’re strong and we will prevail 💖

  3. This is a great post and really inspiring. It’s amazing to know that you keep pushing yourself in these challenging situations. Thanks for sharing.

  4. “You realize you’ve made it to the end of another day.”

    Wow, devastating.

    I can’t even fathom how strong you are.. Thank you so much for sharing your story.

  5. Even during these life challenging phases, you kept yourself strong. You did not let go of pushing forward. We all respect and learn from you.

  6. This must be difficult.Very thoughtful of you that you are sharing your personal experience.More power to you

  7. So sorry for this. TBI is definitely a trial. I have a neurological disorder and can relate to some of these things. You will be in my prayers

  8. Thanks for sharing this. It certainly gives a different perspective to how something as simple as waking up can change so drastically for someone who has had a traumatic injury in the brain. So sorry you have to go though this. You’re so strong!

  9. I had a partial TMI from a bleed when I was 24. I had to learn to write and walk again because of the location. Luckily no residual damage. Hopefully with time, yours will get better. I find lists really help with the memory issues. Posting a list of what I need to do each day that I can check off.

  10. I am so sorry to hear what you are going through. We have diff journeys in life. It may be good or bad but one thing for sure. Everything will ok. Thank you for sharing your story.

  11. In order for each of us to be good to each other, I think it’s important to realize that everyone has their own struggles and is on their own journey. Thank you for sharing yours.

  12. Being able to share it with us and being able to fight and live up with it is truly remarkable. You are a SURVIVOR, an inspiration as well. having short term memory is really hard, at my young age I forget things easily sometimes and it bothers me a lot. Keep it up! God bless

  13. You are amazing for getting up and keeping going every day. Two years ago I was hit by a drunk driver head on and I have about 16 hours worth of memory loss that is completely blank. It’s like this big gaping hole thats there always in the back of my mind. I suffered three out of four limbs broken and was in a wheelchair for about 8 months. I have had 7 surgeries in 2 years.

  14. It’s amazing the power your mind has, isn’t it. I cannot imagine having to feel this way. Hope things look up for you!

  15. Wow, I am sorry that something many people take for granted is something you struggle to even have on a daily basis. I hope that you will make connections with as many memories as possible and stay strong.

  16. Wow, thank you for sharing your story. We should never be quick to judge how others are experiencing their lives, because we truly do not know what they are living through on a day-to-day basis.

  17. Very interesting. I see what my brother in law goes through with his neurological impairments. Not from an injury but from a sudden severe illness and he almost died. He was left completely disabled. Physically he is fine but mentally – so much has been lost.

  18. Hi I’m so sorry to hear this Blair! I also have TBI and sometimes I forget where I’m going or what I’m doing. I have to tell my 8 year old to remind to do things or ask my family what I was saying. It’s a very scary feeling!

  19. Thanks for sharing what it’s like to live with a traumatic brain injury. I think people might have an idea of what that means but not a realistic understanding of what your day-to-day entails.

  20. This just goes to show you never know what somebody is going through and not to judge based on what you see on the surface. What you go through daily is an inspiration. Thank you for sharing your story.

  21. The memory is a funny beast. Some years ago I went back to visit a small town I lived in as a kid. Nothing was where I remembered it to be. Once I was there it sort of pieced together. Thank you for sharing.

  22. Your story slightly reminds me of my aunt (in law). A long time ago, she lost her short term memory. She keeps a book to record all of her truths. Unfortunately, some of those 'truths' are written incorrectly but are now a part of her story. She cannot even remember what she had for lunch or meeting new people. Everyone is trapped in the 1980's and earlier. I think what you are doing with blogging is so admirable and honestly, pretty special. Keep it up, and thank you for sharing something so personal. Love, Christine of The Uncorked Librarian

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